Last night I became the president of our Homeowners' Association. What does this mean? It means I now rule with an iron fist, forcing my loyal (and those scurvy disloyal ones) to do my bidding. I get kickbacks, bribes, and establish foreign policy with other neighborhoods, trading for their goods and screwing them over with our shoddy products. I defend our borders from pirates and the occasional stray dog. I...er...uh, basically I sign off on things, speak at meetings and picnics, and keep doing what I've been doing as VP for the past year. We're pretty laid back so it's not like I need to be bossy. But if you get in my way, I will totally send Dick Cheney over to shoot you in the face. Glock glock!
So Friday is the first day of Summer! As I kid, Summer was always the end-all be-all of seasons. No school and long days. Heat and humidity meant nothing. Before I had Summer jobs it was laid-back and lazy. After I had Summer jobs it meant no fun and work...but money! So there was always something good about it.
You know what? Screw that. I look forward to Summer for a different reason now. You see, the sooner Summer gets started, the sooner it will be over. Summer is okay, I guess, but has quickly become my least favorite season. It's hot, it's humid, and gas prices go up astronomically. Sure, there are days at the pool with the Spuds and other fun activities. There is Independence Day, so that's something. But Summer holds the absolute worst month of the year--August. August is like a nasty, festering pimple on the butt of the year. It's even hotter and more humid and there are no holidays, no fun things...just stagnant air and wilted plants.
So, you see, once August is over I look forward to the absolute best time of the year--Autumn! Actually, I start looking forward to Autumn right after the last day of Autumn. :) But the first day of Summer signals that there are only about three months left until the best season in all the land. Football talk starts up around this time which gets me through until the sport actually commences. So you can have your lousy Summer and all of its picnics and pool parties. Humbug, I say! I'll take my Autumn with all of its football, Halloween, and Thanksgiving (and even almost Christmas which falls just a couple of days after Autumn is over).
Sometimes you make me want to buld a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles.