Monday, June 9, 2008

Waste of Space

I have come to the conclusion that having long, empty hallways at the workplace is generally an unwise decision. Now, given architectural design and needs of the facility it is most likely unavoidable but should be minimized nonetheless. Why? Well, besides being a relatively wasted space, the long empty hallway has been known to produce way too many awkward moments.

Okay, maybe this is a problem for only me. But every time I walk down one of the long hallways at work and someone is walking the other direction I have this really long interval during which I can do nothing but walk, smile awkwardly, and stare blankly ahead. This is eventually followed by the "Hey", "Hey" conversation where I greet the other person but really don't care much. I'm basically just acknowledging that they, too, had to walk down a long hallway and stare at you while smiling.

Long empty hallways are invariably used by people to carry on conversations. These loiterers often cling to the walls like cholesterol but sometimes stand out in the middle of the passage, blocking all transit to and fro. No matter how many people squeeze by looking annoyed and saying "excuse me" these roadblocks will not move until their (usually pointless) conversation is done. Sometimes they will receive an e-mail on their mobile device alerting them to free pizza in the breakroom causing them to quickly disperse but these circumstances don't happen often.

The one good thing that I can say about the long, empty hallway is this: Should the zombie apocalypse occur, these hallways could be our saving grace. Whether they are the slow, rambling kind ("Night of the Living Dead") or the running, screaming kind ("Resident Evil"), said zombies can be dispatched very easily from a blockaded hallway. And we should always keep these things in mind because those damn dirty zombies are out there, constantly waiting, so that they can attack us, eat our brains, and use up all of our wireless minutes.

Jerks.

It's Log! It's Log
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!

1 comment:

KPiep said...

It always comes back to the zombies, doesn't it!