Once upon a time, there was a cute little red-headed girl. We'll call her T (or Spudling, either one). T received a stuffed Tigger as a gift. Oh how she loved that Tigger! She went everywhere with it. She peed on it, drooled on it, threw up on it, and still loved it as much as the day she had received it. The time quickly came when Mommy and Daddy realized that having only one of these magical stuffed animals wouldn't be enough. What if it got lost or destroyed?
So the decision was made to purchase another Tigger toy. And the little girl was pleased. She loved the second one as much as the first and would carry them both around if she got her hands on them. Now, one could be thrown in the washer while the other was in circulation. Months passed and the little girl grew older and so did her love for the two Tiggers. Mommy and Daddy, keeping one step ahead of potential trouble, purchased two more Tiggers. If two was good, then FOUR would be fantastic!
But the little girl had grown wise to Mommy and Daddy's schemes. She was old enough to know that these two new interlopers did not belong amongst the true believers. They neither looked nor smelled like the real Tiggers--they still had their stripes, they weren't mushy, and their fur was still clean and soft. And, hence, they were not allowed into the club. When Mommy and Daddy tried to fool the little girl she immediately detected their ruse and said intruding Tigger was promptly ejected from her grasp with as much strength as an infant could muster.
And thus it has been. She still holds true to the original two Tiggers. They are worn, limp, and stripeless, but they look just as happy as the day T received them and, likewise, she is just as happy. She still carries them around, usually squeezed in her arms. She is lost without them most of the time and they make excellent crib companions. Mommy and Daddy cling to the hope that they are around for a long time.
Just as recent as last night I tried to pull a fast one on T. She climbed into her crib (yeah, she insists on climbing into her own crib now) and snuggled up with her blanket when it was time for bed. She noticed the newer Tigger and looked at me. Then she said "I want Tigger" and I playfully gave her the one in the crib. She looked at me like "Are you F'ing nuts?" and flung him from her sight--out of the crib and onto the floor.
Maybe if I peed and vomited on him?
Don't waste your time
Or time will waste you