It is, in fact, a knitted slipper! It has a sister...on the other foot (not appearing in this photo). You'll have to trust me on that. They're made from...yarn...and they run at 1.5 GHz with...no, wait. They're really comfy warm--good at -31 degrees (quiet, you, it's never been tested, so I can claim what I want), they come in stylish colors (only one color) and I hear they'll walk your dog and take out the trash! I made them for my loving wife and she thinks they're the awesomest thing ever (not a guarantee).
So Christmas stuff has been in stores since...probably January 2nd of this year. But I saw it appear in August, i think. It's easy to overlook the stuff in stores since I don't really go in them. But, finally, Christmas has managed to burrow into my brain. My place of employment has a musac system. Guess what it's been playing today? Ugh.
Also, McDonald's had nonstop Christmas music going today when I was there for lunch. That wasn't the worst part, though. The worst part is that the McRib doesn't taste nearly as good as I remember. Either I was kidding myself or they're buying a lower grade of ass to make them. In any event, I doubt I'm laying down some Washingtons for one of those again.
We three kings of orient are puffing on a rubber cigar