Monday, May 4, 2009

Travelblog, Part II

I just had possibly the best steak ever. It was this way simply because, after a 10-hour day with no lunch, it could have been feet wrapped in cat and moldy cheese and it still would have been awesome. But the steak was actually very good...paired with the best beer ever and finished off with the best key lime pie ever. I'm so full, I think I might pop. It's a far cry from Long John Silvers.

Also, stupid different time zones.

So Microsoft Streets & Trips software is either a) thoroughly retarded or b) determined to get me lost in the middle of the Sahara, being stalked by lions while wearing bacon shorts. It is completely fail. It took me miles out of the way and had no plans to get me back to where I should have been. Not only that, but I had to wait in line on the road while these dudes cut down a tree or two and cleared them from the road. Tben, when I realized I was way far away from my intended target, I had to go back and wait some more while they cut down a couple more trees and dragged their parts off the road. But I eventually made it to every office and upgraded seven PCs...but it took a lot longer than I had planned. Next time that pitiful software tells me to turn right but actually means "go straight", I'm going to punch the entire development team in the head. I invite them to suck it.

The coffee they served at the last hotel was definitely the best "hotel coffee" ever. In fact, it was on par with a lot of coffee shops. I'm shocked, taken aback, surprised, and redundant! I'm also a little bit warm...and somewhat tired.

No great observations from the road today. It was profoundly unfunny, which disappointed me so. I look forward to road humor and the world is less colorful in its absence. Sure, I can make fun of "The Fifth Third Bank" some more, but I'm pretty sure that's been done. I could, once again, talk about my favorite city name--Effingham. I mean, they must have some reallygood ham there! But I saw that roadsign yesterday, so it doesn't count.

But it's still effing hilarious.

There's not much soap and too much cheese

No comments: