Sunday, November 29, 2009

So Full of Turkey I Could Puke

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. For those who don't celebrate the holiday, I hope you had a wonderful Thursday. I think we should have the world celebrate Thanksgiving and call it something like "Excuse to eat a lot of Turkey" Day or "So glad those lousy Pilgrims left" Day.

Much of today has been spent taunting the pets with this. I am probably the worst pilot ever. If you get into an aircraft and you see me at the controls, just walk away. Seriously, it's for the best. It's fun as hell, though. I've wrecked it into just about everything and it hasn't broken yet. There have been a few close calls with the daughters' heads, however.

Many things get better with age--cheese, wine, and really bad Syfy movies. I'm not sure that the same holds true for artificial Christmas trees, however. We have had such lousy luck with Christmas trees the past couple of years. We used to cut them down from a tree farm but all three farms around here are closed. The trees we get elsewhere usually die after a week and a half. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a brown, skeletal fire hazard!

So the in-laws gave us K's grandparents' old tree. I was told it is a pretty large tree, and that only the top portion was ever used. After I unpacked the box and got rid of the two nonfunctional wasp nests, I assembled the bugger. I'm not sure what building the great pyramids was like, but I reckon that putting together this tree competes in that arena. The beast is at least eight feet tall. I had to fluff out all of the branches because the tree had probably not been used in decades. I was really discouraged and dubious at first but, as it turns out, it's a pretty badass artificial tree. I can't imagine how much it cost back when it was bought.

And since we usually go for really odd-looking, screwball Christmas trees (when we have bought live ones), I mixed up some of the branch sizes so that it looks a bit awkward. No reason we can't still have a screwball tree, right?

I'd talk about the Syfy movie this week but, well, you know. It was "Robin Hood: Beyond Sherwood" and starred a dude from "Sanctuary". I didn't catch the whole thing so, as far as I can tell, it dealt with the Sheriff trying to piss everyone off by using a chick that turns into a dragon. Seriously. I crap you negative.

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