Monday, October 21, 2013

Knee Deep in the Halloween

October is the time when everyone has demonstrations, video clips, and pictures of all kinds of great Autumn crafts and Halloween hoopla. The list can get quite lengthy from things like "How to turn your toilet into a crap-o-lantern" to "Stylish boots to wear on a night the demolition derby." Heck, the Today Show usually focuses hours 3-15 on topics like these. Sometimes they take a break in the action to breathe and calm down from all the excitement. Otherwise, it's just a nonstop fun-o-rama of vomit!

So, obviously, screw that. I'm here to talk about more interesting things that have nothing to do with clothing, crafts, or a Kardashian.

Let's start with horror movies. October is the perfect month to pull out all the stops. Now, there is usually a wide variety of horror movies on TV and these are great to catch when you can. I would, however, recommend staying away from Syfy. If they're not playing "Giant Big Gooby Monster vs. Giant Banana Slug" (their idea of a "horror" movie), they're showing "Let's wander around a house in the dark, trying to find our asses with both hands while pretending we see dead people!". These shows include, but are not limited to, "Ghost Hunters", "Ghost Mine", "Paranormal Witness", "Ghost Career", "Vampires on Parade", "I Thought I Saw Something: The Musical", "Mysteries of Bellybutton Lint", "Ghost Cheese", "Ghost Pepper", "Bob Barker's Toilet", and, finally "Where is Eddie Muenster Now?"

Oh, and "Face Off" which, admittedly, is pretty awesome.

TLC features some of the most truly horrifying shows ever. "The Man with the 32-pound scrotum", "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", and...ummm...well, that's about it, I think.

AMC, however, never lets me down. They show "The Walking Dead" (or so I've been told by their five million advertisements). They also show nonstop horror movies for 15 days or so, leading up to Halloween. Kudos, AMC.

So I've always thought "Halloween" and "Halloween 2" (yes, the originals) were possibly two of the best horror movies out there. Top of the heap on a mountain of hockey masks, hatchets, and midget vampires. Both movies were shot on low budgets, imported leaves, bad acting, and no real special effects. But the music, lighting, and camera angles, actually go a long way toward making both of these films superior to most others. Also, the creepiest character in the movies is Loomis.

My pick this year for the Creepy October Game (COG) is "Dead Space". I played through it and have moved onto "Dead Space 2". Yes, I know it's an old game but it was el cheapo on el Steamo--well worth the $5 I paid for it during the Steam Summer Sale!

It is suitably creepy in two ways: Both in the things that jump out of nowhere and charge you like Joey Chestnut charging a helpless bucket of hot dogs, and also in the things you don't see, but hear and just sort of feel. About halfway through, I got desensitized to the "boogety!" creatures, but still got uber-paranoid just hearing the sounds or catching a glimpse of something moving off to the side. "Dead Space" definitely does it right. The Doom remake did it wrong--everything just teleported behind you and yelled "Boogety! I'm a skull tacked onto some weird-looking body!" That was my COG a couple of years ago. I ended up quitting and uninstalling it. Every once in a while, I look at its entry in my Steam library and send a scornful look at it.

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