Dear Video Games,
Several of you--and you know who you are--are too good. In fact, lots of you are too good. Don't look at me like you don't know what I am talking about. You know full well what you're doing. Sure, most of you look very appealing from day one. And then I procure you, dreaming about you while I sleep and longing to play you at times when I can't. Yes, all is good at that point.
But, then, I play you. I play you like a fiddle at a pawn shop. Honestly, I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. I play you a lot, while new hotness waits in line for attention. Sooner or later, I move on and play a different game or two. And I have lots of fun.
But, no matter how much I enjoy any other game, there are still older games I long to replay. You would think I'd get tired of them eventually but, nay, I return to them like a friendly, warm blanket (what we used before the "Snuggie" was invented), happy to pick them back up as if I'd never left.
Seriously...there are times when I still would like to play Civilization II or the original Diablo. Halo 3: ODST, Halo: Reach, StarCraft II, Oblivion, Skyrim, XCOM...the list really goes on and on. There aren't enough hours in a day...or a lifetime to replay all these games.
And multiplayer...ugh. Multiplayer extends the game's life even more than usual. It's insane. Just briefly glancing at my Steam library makes me wish I could load up a plethora of tasty options and play them all nonstop. Well, mostly nonstop. Eventually, I'd have to pee. Eventually.
To any gamer, I need not even explain this phenomenon. They would understand instantly. To anyone else, it comes closest to rereading a series of books multiple times or watching an entire TV series over and over again. You never get tired of it! And the games just keep piling up, creating an awesome mountain of sheer goodness. And at the top of that mountain stands a goat that laughs at me and...oh, sorry. Got lost there for a minute.
Anyway, there you go.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Why Don't I Like Crysis?
I may get skewered for this but I'm tired of living a lie...a secret so dark that I might have to give up my "Man of the Year" status...if I actually achieved anything like that. IT COULD HAPPEN!!!
I don't like Crysis. There, I said it. Whew! That was much easier than I though it'd be. I'm glad to get that off my chest! You've no idea...
Okay, in all seriosity, it's been bugging me for a while. I've always heard great things about the Crysis series. And, of course, there is the all-encompassing PC benchmark--"But does it run Crysis?" Surely there would be more to this game than a graphically-intensive engine, right?
Yes and no. Well, as far as I'm concerned. I'm really going to just skip over the graphics in the Crysis games because they hold no real sway as to why I am not a fan of the Crysis franchise. In this case, the graphics engine is the tasty whipped-cream icing on top of a dry cupcake. Sure, it looks very appealing, and people have talked it up. But, when you bite into it, you realize there is no god.
I wanted to like the games. Truly, I did.
It's been a while since I played the original Crysis, but I just recently bought Crysis 2 because it was in a Steam sale. I figured I'd give it another shot. Maybe the sequel was better? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me rewind.
Plot: It didn't really grab me. In fact, I can't remember what the original plot of Crysis is. I remember running, screaming like a little girl, from aliens at some point. I'm not sure if that counts as "plot" or not. And, certainly, it took quite a bit of the game to even get to that point. And when I did find the aliens, I was like "Wtf? Where did these guys come from, and what do they have to do with anything?" It was as if the writers got so far into the game and then had no idea where to go from there. They had two choices: aliens or zombies.
The plot in Crysis 2 is...well, to be honest, I have no idea what the plot is. The game seems like it's just random missions sewn together with aliens to make it look like an actual plot--"go push this button...now get me a cupcake! Now shoot that thing!". In all honestly, I have no idea what I am trying to do overall. Sure, sometimes I'm trying to save a dude, or I
'm trying to get from point A to point B, but there never seems to be anything beyond that. Even if I, at one time, knew what the plot was, I easily forgot. Maybe it was because I put the game down and then later picked it back up. Or maybe it was because of a shiny squirrel piloting a spaceship outside.
Characters: Who now? I can barely remember my character's name, much less anyone else's. I've no idea why, but they're just not memorable. Sure, some of them die so they're easy to forget. But I developed no attachment to any of them. I've really nothing more to say about them as this pretty much sums up my experience here.
Weapons: The weapons are...well, weapons. They're nothing special and they don't stand out from any other games. You'll see the same types of weapons in any other FPS. I'm pretty sure even Pong had a couple of similar weapons in it.
Game Mechanics: So the meat of the Crysis series is the Nanosuit. The Nanosuit turns ordinary soldiers into...um...ordinary soldiers who can do a couple of cool things for an extremely limited time. The functions vary slightly from Crysis to Crysis 2. The suit allows you to turn invisible, be stronger, have more armor, or sprint (because you can't apparently run without a Nanosuit), or jump high...etc. I'm pretty sure the suit allows you to pick your nose with great intensity, but I've never used that function.
So, while this all sounds great...it's really not. Again, Crysis 2 differs a bit from the original and the suit has upgrades that allow it to operate better. In the original, however, the suit's energy ran down extraordinarily quickly. In the second, it's slower but you're still not the super soldier that the hype would lead you to believe.
The Nanosuit is the selling point for the franchise and, frankly, it falls flat for me. It was a decently cool idea but, for me, it wasn't enough to save the games. I played the first one because I felt I should. I played the second (well, I haven't finished it yet) because I wanted to give the franchise another chance. But, even if the third one gets really cheap, I am not so sure I'll go for it.
I've never felt compelled to finish either of these games. I never said to myself "Ooh, I wonder how this plot turns out!" or "What happens to these characters??" It's sort of reminiscent of the original Doom--you had no idea what you were doing or why. All you know is, you had to kill stuff and push buttons. Crysis and Crysis II feel much the same, only with a Nanosuit and prettier graphics. Oh, and the weapons aren't sticking out of your stomach.
I'm not one to say "this game sucks" and, even if I was, the Crysis franchise doesn't suck. It's just not my kind of game, I suppose. I want to like Crysis, but I don't.
I don't like Crysis. There, I said it. Whew! That was much easier than I though it'd be. I'm glad to get that off my chest! You've no idea...
 | |
| Sorry, but I don't like you. |
Yes and no. Well, as far as I'm concerned. I'm really going to just skip over the graphics in the Crysis games because they hold no real sway as to why I am not a fan of the Crysis franchise. In this case, the graphics engine is the tasty whipped-cream icing on top of a dry cupcake. Sure, it looks very appealing, and people have talked it up. But, when you bite into it, you realize there is no god.
I wanted to like the games. Truly, I did.
It's been a while since I played the original Crysis, but I just recently bought Crysis 2 because it was in a Steam sale. I figured I'd give it another shot. Maybe the sequel was better? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me rewind.
Plot: It didn't really grab me. In fact, I can't remember what the original plot of Crysis is. I remember running, screaming like a little girl, from aliens at some point. I'm not sure if that counts as "plot" or not. And, certainly, it took quite a bit of the game to even get to that point. And when I did find the aliens, I was like "Wtf? Where did these guys come from, and what do they have to do with anything?" It was as if the writers got so far into the game and then had no idea where to go from there. They had two choices: aliens or zombies.
 |
| No, I don't like you either. |
'm trying to get from point A to point B, but there never seems to be anything beyond that. Even if I, at one time, knew what the plot was, I easily forgot. Maybe it was because I put the game down and then later picked it back up. Or maybe it was because of a shiny squirrel piloting a spaceship outside.
Characters: Who now? I can barely remember my character's name, much less anyone else's. I've no idea why, but they're just not memorable. Sure, some of them die so they're easy to forget. But I developed no attachment to any of them. I've really nothing more to say about them as this pretty much sums up my experience here.
Weapons: The weapons are...well, weapons. They're nothing special and they don't stand out from any other games. You'll see the same types of weapons in any other FPS. I'm pretty sure even Pong had a couple of similar weapons in it.
Game Mechanics: So the meat of the Crysis series is the Nanosuit. The Nanosuit turns ordinary soldiers into...um...ordinary soldiers who can do a couple of cool things for an extremely limited time. The functions vary slightly from Crysis to Crysis 2. The suit allows you to turn invisible, be stronger, have more armor, or sprint (because you can't apparently run without a Nanosuit), or jump high...etc. I'm pretty sure the suit allows you to pick your nose with great intensity, but I've never used that function.
 |
| Pretty sure I don't like you. |
The Nanosuit is the selling point for the franchise and, frankly, it falls flat for me. It was a decently cool idea but, for me, it wasn't enough to save the games. I played the first one because I felt I should. I played the second (well, I haven't finished it yet) because I wanted to give the franchise another chance. But, even if the third one gets really cheap, I am not so sure I'll go for it.
I've never felt compelled to finish either of these games. I never said to myself "Ooh, I wonder how this plot turns out!" or "What happens to these characters??" It's sort of reminiscent of the original Doom--you had no idea what you were doing or why. All you know is, you had to kill stuff and push buttons. Crysis and Crysis II feel much the same, only with a Nanosuit and prettier graphics. Oh, and the weapons aren't sticking out of your stomach.
I'm not one to say "this game sucks" and, even if I was, the Crysis franchise doesn't suck. It's just not my kind of game, I suppose. I want to like Crysis, but I don't.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Reasons Why Nemo Hates My Face
(This could get a little lengthy.)
I love playing games. There. I said it.
I love playing games of all kinds--board games, card games, sports and, most of all, video games. Some would say I like to play head games but I can neither confirm nor deny that suspicion. And I've paid the band Foreigner to remain silent.
I would simply say that, when I was born, I was born with a controller in my hands. In addition to all of the questions that would raise, sadly, video games essentially didn't exist when I was born. Sure, make some "old man" jokes. You're just adding a snowy cap to an already incredibly surmountable mountain...or mountain range. Whatevs. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!
I remember it well. A decently young me was at the county fair. My father asked if I wanted to go into the arcade. "What's an arcade?" I asked.
I'm pretty sure my eyes nearly popped out of my head. But since that would have caused alarm and a trip to the hospital, I instead contained my excitement ever so slightly. But I was hooked instantly. And, folks, we're talking games like "Asteroids", here. Yep. A few buttons controlling what was pretty much a series of lines with a few motes of light. I did not actually play any of the games that day but, oh, would I make up for that deficiency in very little time.
Needless to say, growing up, I lived in arcades. I wore out at least two Atari 2600s, then progressed to the Colecovision. NES, SNES, you betcha. I skipped a few console generations, hibernating under a rock while the pixels passed me by, only to emerge, pasty and bleary-eyed, and quickly make the Xbox my bitch. Then onto the current Xbox 360. All the while, the standard home PC was serenading me. And let's not forget the Apple IIe.
I wasn't picky. I played every damned video game I could get my grubby mitts on. I had some handheld games that looked like arcade games. I mapped out levels on River Raid (still one of the best games of all time). I drew video game characters on school folders.
Yes, I played E.T. on the Atari 2600. I am not ashamed. Being a kid, I did not have discriminating taste. I fully realize this "game" was utter shit. It was a hot mess. It was indeed horrible. But I tapped that. I beat it several times. Back then it was the thrill of the game. Plot didn't matter. Most game designers couldn't even spell the word "plot".
Which brings us to the present.
Video games today are major productions. Hundreds of people come together to create them. This isn't Atari 2600's "Combat". I'm sure there was a really great plot, there--"That tank stole my cheese!! KILL IT!!!"
But video games turn people into killers! And they're mindless! Read a book, you hooligan! Do something productive! YOU'LL GET HERPES!!!
I have nothing against other diversions. But let's compare a few other activities.
Books: Books are awesome. They're portable, they don't require electricity (other than light to see them) and they can be extremely enthralling. They can challenge the imagination and the mind.
Movies: Movies are an all-around, engrossing experience. The sound and the visual effects can be stunning. The plot, characters, and acting can move you to tears or cheers.
TV: Let's face it. Most of television is complete and utter detritus. Very few gems shine through the filth and the muck of daily television. I can't even seriously consider TV an "activity".
Physical Activities: Sports, exercise, etc. I fully approve of these activities. Everyone should get some exercise in their routines. Sports and exercise keep you fit and healthy. They can be social activities or "lone wolf" endeavors.
Hobbies: Hobbies are always great to have. Usually they are productive--instruments, crafts, etc. They build talent and skills as well.
Video Games: There are so many varieties of video games that I will have to generalize for the most part. Most modern video games tell a rich, in depth story that rivals most movies and books. You usually have to option to play alone or with others. Games like the Portal and Scribblenauts series force you to solve problems. Motion games can provide exercise and coordination tasks. Real-time strategy games like Starcraft, and other games like Civilization force you to think, develop strategies, and plan for the future of the game. Even an old-school game like Tetris stimulates the mind. And so many video games encourage teamwork and strategy when played with other real, live humans.
This isn't just Pac-Man and Donkey Kong anymore. Video games often become trilogies or entire series. They have movie-level production values with complex, rich musical scores, professional voice actors, and animation and effects that rival most movies. While you are watching a screen, video games--unlike movies--are much more interactive. Movies don't often cause you to think unless they are a suspense/thriller type of flick.
Television can't even begin to compete with video games. I'm not even going to acknowledge it. Moving on.
Books massage the brain a bit more and the entire thing takes place in your mind. Video games--not as much. But they can immerse you at least as much as a book but, more often than not, they will surpass the book's ability.
Because of the variety of video games there are now games that allow you to move and exercise. While these games can't compare to playing actual sports, you can get an excellent workout and still have a load of fun. Maybe two loads...but that gets a little messy sometimes.
Now...hobbies are a completely different story. There really is no substitute for a good hobby. They truly are fantastic, engrossing activities that usually produce something, practice a talent, or collect something.
For me, video games are an excellent stress reliever. I enjoy carving a path through the rough terrain, descending upon enemies, managing resources and building units, flying a plane and, yes, headshotting poor hapless enemy dudes. Does this mean I'm zoning out and wasting my time? No. I am interacting, thinking, strategizing, planning, watching, listening, and planning. Is this going to turn me into a killer? I find it highly doubtful that I am going to charge into an office building while munching dots, jumping over barrels, and warping through portals, just to throw a tetrimino at someone and kill them.
Yes, I play a lot of violent video games. I am also a well-adjusted, relatively social human being who holds down a good, steady job, makes good, responsible decisions, loves his family, and works hard to move forward in life. I'm not a fan of violence, but I know the difference between a movie, TV, video game, and real life. Translation: No. Video games do not make me violent or turn me into an angry rage monster. If a video game turns someone violent, then most likely there was an instability present to begin with. This is not a 100% across the board--some people are batshit crazy while others are just unpredictable--but I'm pretty sure this is the case much of the time.
Video games, to me, are like watching a book and listening to its soundtrack, blazing a trail and deciding what happens, changing this fictional world through strategy and, yes, blowing the living crap out of some enemies. They are an excellent stress reliever and an awesome distraction. They are produced by people who are passionate for good storytelling, visuals, characters, and sound. And they want to amaze you and knock your socks off. Writers work in words, video game creators work in just about every medium you can imagine. Some games span movies, books, and music.
And that is why I love video games. Actually, that is just scratching the surface. I don't see them as a waste of time or inferior to other pursuits. Video games have created friendships, families, and social lives. They are an outlet. They are entertainment. No, they are not a substitute for a job, education, a family, or a social life. But they can supplement each of these facets to some extent. Some players even make money in profession video game leagues just as athletes make money in their chosen sports. Some players sell in-game items or entire characters for big bucks. Yes. Real Money. There are even award shows devoted to video games.
With video games, virtually anything is possible.
Sure, video games are like anything else, they can be played too much. I have nothing to say to that except "everything in moderation".
Video games aren't going anywhere. They are, in fact, evolving. And, actually, I think they're just getting started.
Now if I could just get that nasty case of Nintendo Thumb cleared up, I'll be just fine.
Cheers!
I love playing games. There. I said it.
I love playing games of all kinds--board games, card games, sports and, most of all, video games. Some would say I like to play head games but I can neither confirm nor deny that suspicion. And I've paid the band Foreigner to remain silent.
I would simply say that, when I was born, I was born with a controller in my hands. In addition to all of the questions that would raise, sadly, video games essentially didn't exist when I was born. Sure, make some "old man" jokes. You're just adding a snowy cap to an already incredibly surmountable mountain...or mountain range. Whatevs. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!
I remember it well. A decently young me was at the county fair. My father asked if I wanted to go into the arcade. "What's an arcade?" I asked.
I'm pretty sure my eyes nearly popped out of my head. But since that would have caused alarm and a trip to the hospital, I instead contained my excitement ever so slightly. But I was hooked instantly. And, folks, we're talking games like "Asteroids", here. Yep. A few buttons controlling what was pretty much a series of lines with a few motes of light. I did not actually play any of the games that day but, oh, would I make up for that deficiency in very little time.
Needless to say, growing up, I lived in arcades. I wore out at least two Atari 2600s, then progressed to the Colecovision. NES, SNES, you betcha. I skipped a few console generations, hibernating under a rock while the pixels passed me by, only to emerge, pasty and bleary-eyed, and quickly make the Xbox my bitch. Then onto the current Xbox 360. All the while, the standard home PC was serenading me. And let's not forget the Apple IIe.
I wasn't picky. I played every damned video game I could get my grubby mitts on. I had some handheld games that looked like arcade games. I mapped out levels on River Raid (still one of the best games of all time). I drew video game characters on school folders.
Yes, I played E.T. on the Atari 2600. I am not ashamed. Being a kid, I did not have discriminating taste. I fully realize this "game" was utter shit. It was a hot mess. It was indeed horrible. But I tapped that. I beat it several times. Back then it was the thrill of the game. Plot didn't matter. Most game designers couldn't even spell the word "plot".
Which brings us to the present.
Video games today are major productions. Hundreds of people come together to create them. This isn't Atari 2600's "Combat". I'm sure there was a really great plot, there--"That tank stole my cheese!! KILL IT!!!"
But video games turn people into killers! And they're mindless! Read a book, you hooligan! Do something productive! YOU'LL GET HERPES!!!
I have nothing against other diversions. But let's compare a few other activities.
Books: Books are awesome. They're portable, they don't require electricity (other than light to see them) and they can be extremely enthralling. They can challenge the imagination and the mind.
Movies: Movies are an all-around, engrossing experience. The sound and the visual effects can be stunning. The plot, characters, and acting can move you to tears or cheers.
TV: Let's face it. Most of television is complete and utter detritus. Very few gems shine through the filth and the muck of daily television. I can't even seriously consider TV an "activity".
Physical Activities: Sports, exercise, etc. I fully approve of these activities. Everyone should get some exercise in their routines. Sports and exercise keep you fit and healthy. They can be social activities or "lone wolf" endeavors.
Hobbies: Hobbies are always great to have. Usually they are productive--instruments, crafts, etc. They build talent and skills as well.
Video Games: There are so many varieties of video games that I will have to generalize for the most part. Most modern video games tell a rich, in depth story that rivals most movies and books. You usually have to option to play alone or with others. Games like the Portal and Scribblenauts series force you to solve problems. Motion games can provide exercise and coordination tasks. Real-time strategy games like Starcraft, and other games like Civilization force you to think, develop strategies, and plan for the future of the game. Even an old-school game like Tetris stimulates the mind. And so many video games encourage teamwork and strategy when played with other real, live humans.
This isn't just Pac-Man and Donkey Kong anymore. Video games often become trilogies or entire series. They have movie-level production values with complex, rich musical scores, professional voice actors, and animation and effects that rival most movies. While you are watching a screen, video games--unlike movies--are much more interactive. Movies don't often cause you to think unless they are a suspense/thriller type of flick.
Television can't even begin to compete with video games. I'm not even going to acknowledge it. Moving on.
Books massage the brain a bit more and the entire thing takes place in your mind. Video games--not as much. But they can immerse you at least as much as a book but, more often than not, they will surpass the book's ability.
Because of the variety of video games there are now games that allow you to move and exercise. While these games can't compare to playing actual sports, you can get an excellent workout and still have a load of fun. Maybe two loads...but that gets a little messy sometimes.
Now...hobbies are a completely different story. There really is no substitute for a good hobby. They truly are fantastic, engrossing activities that usually produce something, practice a talent, or collect something.
For me, video games are an excellent stress reliever. I enjoy carving a path through the rough terrain, descending upon enemies, managing resources and building units, flying a plane and, yes, headshotting poor hapless enemy dudes. Does this mean I'm zoning out and wasting my time? No. I am interacting, thinking, strategizing, planning, watching, listening, and planning. Is this going to turn me into a killer? I find it highly doubtful that I am going to charge into an office building while munching dots, jumping over barrels, and warping through portals, just to throw a tetrimino at someone and kill them.
Yes, I play a lot of violent video games. I am also a well-adjusted, relatively social human being who holds down a good, steady job, makes good, responsible decisions, loves his family, and works hard to move forward in life. I'm not a fan of violence, but I know the difference between a movie, TV, video game, and real life. Translation: No. Video games do not make me violent or turn me into an angry rage monster. If a video game turns someone violent, then most likely there was an instability present to begin with. This is not a 100% across the board--some people are batshit crazy while others are just unpredictable--but I'm pretty sure this is the case much of the time.
Video games, to me, are like watching a book and listening to its soundtrack, blazing a trail and deciding what happens, changing this fictional world through strategy and, yes, blowing the living crap out of some enemies. They are an excellent stress reliever and an awesome distraction. They are produced by people who are passionate for good storytelling, visuals, characters, and sound. And they want to amaze you and knock your socks off. Writers work in words, video game creators work in just about every medium you can imagine. Some games span movies, books, and music.
And that is why I love video games. Actually, that is just scratching the surface. I don't see them as a waste of time or inferior to other pursuits. Video games have created friendships, families, and social lives. They are an outlet. They are entertainment. No, they are not a substitute for a job, education, a family, or a social life. But they can supplement each of these facets to some extent. Some players even make money in profession video game leagues just as athletes make money in their chosen sports. Some players sell in-game items or entire characters for big bucks. Yes. Real Money. There are even award shows devoted to video games.
With video games, virtually anything is possible.
Sure, video games are like anything else, they can be played too much. I have nothing to say to that except "everything in moderation".
Video games aren't going anywhere. They are, in fact, evolving. And, actually, I think they're just getting started.
Now if I could just get that nasty case of Nintendo Thumb cleared up, I'll be just fine.
Cheers!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Saving the Galaxy!
Ever want to command a starship? Ever want to order an elite crew raise shields, arm weapons, or get you a badass sandwich? Sounds fun, huh?
I give you FTL: Faster Than Light.
Okay, so there are no sandwiches involved and maybe not an elite crew...but the rest was accurate. In FTL: Faster Than Light (we'll just call it "FTL" from here on out) you are in control of a Federation starship with important information needed to defeat the rebels. You must jump from point to point, from sector to sector, racing the rebels until you reach your allies.
Okay, so it is not an extremely inspiring plot. There are no cute puppies, mystic swords, ninjas, pirates, giant robots, super soldiers or, again, sandwiches involved. And the game is rather simple but the execution is actually rather complex.
You start out (without having unlocked anything) with a basic ship and three crew members. The ship is armed, has shields, and everything else a starship has. No, wait...there is no bathroom so I don't know how your crew gets around that aspect. They're probably too busy rerouting power from the dilithium crystal chamber into the...yeah, I digress.
So while you are running from the rebels and you will encounter stuff...things like asteroid fields, solar flares and, oh yeah, hostile ships of all kinds. How each fight goes is up to you. You can aim your weapons at any of the enemy's systems (weapons, shields, engine etc) and you can route power as you see fit. Even if you max out your ship's power, you will never have enough power to send juice to everything so you must decide.
Along the way you will acquire scrap. Yes, you will and you will like it or so help me...anyway, scrap is used to buy things like weapons, fuel, or other items from a space store (yes, that's what I am calling them) or ship upgrades.
Again, all of this sounds rather simple and, in theory, it really is. But once you have played the game for just a few minutes you will quickly figure out that there are all kinds of intricate strategies and details hidden within.
I often found myself yelling "Scotty! Raise the shields!" And then I'd give some lame excuse as to why Scotty couldn't raise them like "Ah'm doin' tha best I can, Captain!" or "Ah'm sorry, Captain, but ah fell out the gaping hole in the hull!"
You can rename your starting crew, though I never actually renamed them after Star Trek characters. Instead, I named them stunningly original names like "Engines", "Pilot", and "Weapons". I did this just so I could figure out who was supposed to do what job since they get better in their repetitive tasks--if they don't suffocate, die in a fire, or get blasted to bits by an alien with a raygun.
Oh, also, they can be pummeled to death.
You can play on two difficulties: "Easy" and "Normal" which, as a friend pointed out, should be called "Normal" and "**** You". I won't lie. This game is tough. The good news is, it's cheap. I've beaten it once and I still go back and play it (on **** You mode, of course). It's not graphically intensive which is fine because graphics aren't the point.
So there you go.
I give you FTL: Faster Than Light.
Okay, so there are no sandwiches involved and maybe not an elite crew...but the rest was accurate. In FTL: Faster Than Light (we'll just call it "FTL" from here on out) you are in control of a Federation starship with important information needed to defeat the rebels. You must jump from point to point, from sector to sector, racing the rebels until you reach your allies.
Okay, so it is not an extremely inspiring plot. There are no cute puppies, mystic swords, ninjas, pirates, giant robots, super soldiers or, again, sandwiches involved. And the game is rather simple but the execution is actually rather complex.
You start out (without having unlocked anything) with a basic ship and three crew members. The ship is armed, has shields, and everything else a starship has. No, wait...there is no bathroom so I don't know how your crew gets around that aspect. They're probably too busy rerouting power from the dilithium crystal chamber into the...yeah, I digress.
So while you are running from the rebels and you will encounter stuff...things like asteroid fields, solar flares and, oh yeah, hostile ships of all kinds. How each fight goes is up to you. You can aim your weapons at any of the enemy's systems (weapons, shields, engine etc) and you can route power as you see fit. Even if you max out your ship's power, you will never have enough power to send juice to everything so you must decide.
Along the way you will acquire scrap. Yes, you will and you will like it or so help me...anyway, scrap is used to buy things like weapons, fuel, or other items from a space store (yes, that's what I am calling them) or ship upgrades.
Again, all of this sounds rather simple and, in theory, it really is. But once you have played the game for just a few minutes you will quickly figure out that there are all kinds of intricate strategies and details hidden within.
I often found myself yelling "Scotty! Raise the shields!" And then I'd give some lame excuse as to why Scotty couldn't raise them like "Ah'm doin' tha best I can, Captain!" or "Ah'm sorry, Captain, but ah fell out the gaping hole in the hull!"
You can rename your starting crew, though I never actually renamed them after Star Trek characters. Instead, I named them stunningly original names like "Engines", "Pilot", and "Weapons". I did this just so I could figure out who was supposed to do what job since they get better in their repetitive tasks--if they don't suffocate, die in a fire, or get blasted to bits by an alien with a raygun.
Oh, also, they can be pummeled to death.
You can play on two difficulties: "Easy" and "Normal" which, as a friend pointed out, should be called "Normal" and "**** You". I won't lie. This game is tough. The good news is, it's cheap. I've beaten it once and I still go back and play it (on **** You mode, of course). It's not graphically intensive which is fine because graphics aren't the point.
So there you go.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Saving the world (or not)
It's been a little while.
You might be thinking "Oh, sure. He hasn't had time to ramble because he's playing Halo 4, that snooty bastard."
You would be incorrect...well, mostly. Yes, I am still playing with the Halo 4z but I have also been deeply enthralled in my quest to save the Earth from an alien invasion in Xcom: Enemy Unknown. That's right...your lives all depend on me and my mad management and turn-based strategy skills!!!
That being said, I just failed my first game so you all died horribly. Sorry about that. I'll make it up to you next time, I guarantee. (not a guarantee)
So, Xcom: Enemy Unknown is a reboot of the old Xcom: UFO Defense game from the 90s. Let's all take a moment to reflect on what a great game that was.
...
Okay, moment over. Yep, it was a great game. Xcom: Enemy Unknown is all that and more. Take Xcom: UFO defense, update the AI, UI, slap a new coat of paint on it and you have the new hawtness. It is the same game, but it's not the same game if that makes any sense. And, if it doesn't, I don't care. Go play your Halo 4 (hit me up for some multiplayer, though!).
Aliens are invading and you are tasked with coming up with a way to beat them. You have member countries you must help out along the way and, if you fail, they whine, cry and, eventually, pull their support--and their funding--from the project. Lose too many supporters and, bam, you're out of a job. Oh, and all of the world dies. But--UNEMPLOYMENT!!! Also, death and destruction. no unemployment check for you!
The AI is updated as are the alien types. No more "alien shuffle" where the creature walks back and forth in front of you with no real purpose. No more attempts for an alien to throw a grenade out a window, only to have it hit the wall and land at the creature's feet. This is serious business now!!! Though, I have to admit, that grenade thing was classic laughs. Seriously. It never failed to amuse.
If you have played, and enjoyed, the original Xcom: UFO Defense, then Enemy Unknown is right up your alley. I have a few minor issues with it. For instance, when a soldier is injured, it would be nice if his or her equipment went back into the pool. I don't believe it does (but I could be wrong). Also, it can sometimes be easy to click incorrectly and have your soldier go somewhere entirely different than you intended (such as inadvertently going down a level of terrain).
Also, I did a bit of experimentation to see how the % chance of success mechanics work. For example, if my soldier has a 90% chance to hit an enemy and misses, what happens if I reload the game and try again? Same thing...over and over as far as I can tell. So, from my experience, if your soldier misses or hits, he/she is destined for that course of action. This was in no way a scientific experiment but of the few times I tried it, the outcome was the same each time. I guess this keeps the player from trying to game the system but also seems a bit questionable, maybe?
Xcom: Enemy Unknown is definitely one of my favorite games this year. I can see myself playing it for quite a while. It's one of those games that you can load up, play for 30 minutes to an hour, then quit. That being said, I've noticed that I have been sucked in for quite a bit longer than I intended at times.
You might be thinking "Oh, sure. He hasn't had time to ramble because he's playing Halo 4, that snooty bastard."
You would be incorrect...well, mostly. Yes, I am still playing with the Halo 4z but I have also been deeply enthralled in my quest to save the Earth from an alien invasion in Xcom: Enemy Unknown. That's right...your lives all depend on me and my mad management and turn-based strategy skills!!!
That being said, I just failed my first game so you all died horribly. Sorry about that. I'll make it up to you next time, I guarantee. (not a guarantee)
So, Xcom: Enemy Unknown is a reboot of the old Xcom: UFO Defense game from the 90s. Let's all take a moment to reflect on what a great game that was.
...
Okay, moment over. Yep, it was a great game. Xcom: Enemy Unknown is all that and more. Take Xcom: UFO defense, update the AI, UI, slap a new coat of paint on it and you have the new hawtness. It is the same game, but it's not the same game if that makes any sense. And, if it doesn't, I don't care. Go play your Halo 4 (hit me up for some multiplayer, though!).
Aliens are invading and you are tasked with coming up with a way to beat them. You have member countries you must help out along the way and, if you fail, they whine, cry and, eventually, pull their support--and their funding--from the project. Lose too many supporters and, bam, you're out of a job. Oh, and all of the world dies. But--UNEMPLOYMENT!!! Also, death and destruction. no unemployment check for you!
The AI is updated as are the alien types. No more "alien shuffle" where the creature walks back and forth in front of you with no real purpose. No more attempts for an alien to throw a grenade out a window, only to have it hit the wall and land at the creature's feet. This is serious business now!!! Though, I have to admit, that grenade thing was classic laughs. Seriously. It never failed to amuse.
If you have played, and enjoyed, the original Xcom: UFO Defense, then Enemy Unknown is right up your alley. I have a few minor issues with it. For instance, when a soldier is injured, it would be nice if his or her equipment went back into the pool. I don't believe it does (but I could be wrong). Also, it can sometimes be easy to click incorrectly and have your soldier go somewhere entirely different than you intended (such as inadvertently going down a level of terrain).
Also, I did a bit of experimentation to see how the % chance of success mechanics work. For example, if my soldier has a 90% chance to hit an enemy and misses, what happens if I reload the game and try again? Same thing...over and over as far as I can tell. So, from my experience, if your soldier misses or hits, he/she is destined for that course of action. This was in no way a scientific experiment but of the few times I tried it, the outcome was the same each time. I guess this keeps the player from trying to game the system but also seems a bit questionable, maybe?
Xcom: Enemy Unknown is definitely one of my favorite games this year. I can see myself playing it for quite a while. It's one of those games that you can load up, play for 30 minutes to an hour, then quit. That being said, I've noticed that I have been sucked in for quite a bit longer than I intended at times.
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