Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thanks of Giving...Wait, What?

So, Thanksgiving is over and we're all alive and well...and sane! Can I get a Hallelujah?? No? How about half of one?

So...Black Friday. It's aptly named. Stores name it that because it's the start of the Christmas shopping season which will hopefully put them "in the black". I've always thought the name was appropriate because it tended to bring out the worst in everyone as they beat each other senseless to get that Christmas bargain. Case in point: Wal-Mart Employee Trampled To Death. That poor slob (who, first of all, sucked it up to work at Wal-Mart) was just trying to make some money...and ends up dead. And what gets me is the idiots who kept rushing through the doors, not even stopping to help. Their excuse was that it was okay because they'd been waiting in line for so long? Go to jail. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect the $88 GPS unit.

I don't usually go near a retail outlet on Black Friday. IF (and that's a big "if") I do, I go to one that nobody else goes to...theoretically. Because we were bored, my brother-in-law and I went to Cargo Largo. Cargo Largo is basically a half step up from a dirt mall. It's an outlet that sells overstocks and slightly damaged items (or items with a damaged box) or items that just don't sell in the store. Everything is really cheap and the place is filled with crap nobody needs. But on Black Friday, they apparently had 20% off EVERYTHING. And, wow, was it crowded! Anyhoo, I picked up a couple of things for really cheap (whether I needed them is another issue).

The long weekend generally went well. The only downside was Mizzou losing to KU. Kansas just played smart whereas Mizzou did not--so they deserved the win. It was a good game (most of it) and fun to watch. Besides, I was shoving Hot Wings in my face like there was no tomorrow. What could be better than that? Wait...don't answer that...I don't really want to know.

I OD'd on caffeine for about three days. Like, I had way too much. I'm going to pay for that...soon. See, with a full house, there was really no bed for me to sleep in so I got tainted sleep. Also, the air mattress we brought would not hold air. So I took couch cushions to the basement and made a cushion bed. This sort of works, sort of not. You can't really lay on your side comfortably and you wake up rather stiff (unless you have really good cushions). So, when my brother-in-law and his girlfriend left early Saturday morning, K and I immediately moved into the bed. My quote (that I barely remember due to fatigue) was: "This must be how rich people sleep". Then I passed out.

I also discovered that, if you want free hamburgers, wait for someone to slam their truck into a cow in the road, drive up and, when nobody's looking, take a few bites. Seriously, it's a victimless crime!

Someone keeps moving my chair

Thursday, November 20, 2008

You've Got Some Randomosity In Your Teeth...

The following is definitely bits of nonsequitor wrapped in a tasty burrito shell...but no red sauce. Cope.

I went to the mall for lunch today for lunch and as I was walking through the parking lot I noticed another dude walking toward me. Something about him looked oddly familiar and I couldn't figure it out until I had almost passed him. Then it hit me--I'd found my walking twin!!

Seriously. This dude walked exactly like I do...and that's not a good thing. I don't have a studly, badass walk. Nay. I have a walk that is akin to an injured duck playing hopscotch. Well, maybe not that bad...maybe a healthy duck. Anyway, it was freaky.

ABC's "Pushing Daisies" seems to have been canceled. I find this very, very sad. I'm not a huge television viewer but I have a couple of choice shows I really enjoy--"Lost" is one of them. And not just like "wow, that's a neat show." No, I enjoy Lost like a cat enjoys licking its butt...only I think my activity is much'ish.

I thought "Pushing Daisies" was a unique, refreshing show that had a little bit of everything. It was like a cake on top of pie buried in some ice cream...wrapped in bacon. And now that bacony dessert will be snatched away from me at the end of this season (or is tentatively going to be). I guess there's always Deal or No Deal...if I want to vomit.

Later, on a different day...

So, today, I decided to have some "Daddy time" with G. We went to Going_Bonkers which, if you have not seen one, is like a giant Habitrail except, instead of hamsters and gerbils, there are children squirming through every crevice, tunnel, and slide. The only other difference is that there may be more or less errant turds in this habitrail. Your mileage may vary.

I followed G through the first go-around and then sat out for the rest. I think it might just be the busiest, loudest place on the planet. But we had fun and it was really nice to spend some one-on-one time with her.

Baba yetu, Yesu uliye

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Bottom of the Random

Now that I've suitably decompressed from the entire last week at work, I think what sanity I had has finally returned. Who benefits from this? Why, you, dear reader...or you're cursed. That's for you to decide.

Last night I played Left4Dead online with a couple of friends. It was released (via download) at 11:00 central and I was up and playing by 11:15. Now that is what the Internet is for! It's finally living up to its promises! But, wait, where's the popsicle it promised me?

Anyway, Left 4 Dead is a first-person shooter that puts you in the role of one of four survivors in a city where a zombie apocalypse just occurred. Don't kid yourself. It could happen. And when it does, I'll know everything there is to know about getting my brains eaten!

These aren't your normal, lazy zombies out for a Sunday stroll who might just happen to eat some brains on the way home. No. These are full-on, beat down the door, smash through the window with a knife and fork, eat your brains zombies. It's you against them and the scales are tipped in their favor. They crawl out of the woodwork like the family at holidays! Except they don't want turkey. A good time was had by all and I look forward to playing again.

K just informed me that we are going to provide and cook a turkey for a local church's Thanksgiving dinner this week. While I'd like to give more to charities and do more for them, it is really tough. So I am overjoyed that we can help out in this way. We do what we can through other avenues but I know it's not nearly enough. Now I just gotta make sure I don't try to devour said turkey...

Speaking of charity. Now is the time of year when MyCokeRewards allows you to give Coca-Cola points to Toys For Tots/Toys For Teens. While it's not the greatest way to give, it's virtually free. And most people will never accumulate enough points to get anything good on their site anyway. :) I happen to accumulate a butt ton of points and am funneling a bunch through to Toys For Tots/Toys For Teens in this way. (No, I don't actually buy all that soda, but points are easy to come by.) So I urge anyone reading this to help out...even just a few points can make a difference. It's a worthy cause that really costs you nothing! What a deal!

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Urge to Set Someone On Fire Rising...

I don't talk about work on here. It's a policy I have. I will, however, say this one thing...

People are very, very strange. I probably have no idea. Seriously. Some are very very particular about the way the keys on their keyboard feel and will be brought nearly to incurable rage if the delicate balance is messed with. Others will use a standard, white computer mouse until it is brown with filth. Apparently, washing one's hands or one's computer mouse is beyond normal comprehension.

Still others will gripe about every setting on their computer--settings they themselves set up in the first place, but they will blame you when those settings are not restored on a new computer. They will blame you for everything that is wrong in their PC's pitiful existence, and they will probably feel better for it. The only way out is fire...cleansing fire.

Now that I'm done with that rant, something fun! Here's a sort of tutorial about how to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider! (sent to me by a friend.)


I'm out.

Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away

Friday, November 7, 2008

Bits of Randomosity

First off, I made this!

It is, in fact, a knitted slipper! It has a sister...on the other foot (not appearing in this photo). You'll have to trust me on that. They're made from...yarn...and they run at 1.5 GHz, wait. They're really comfy warm--good at -31 degrees (quiet, you, it's never been tested, so I can claim what I want), they come in stylish colors (only one color) and I hear they'll walk your dog and take out the trash! I made them for my loving wife and she thinks they're the awesomest thing ever (not a guarantee).

Christmas Creep

So Christmas stuff has been in stores since...probably January 2nd of this year. But I saw it appear in August, i think. It's easy to overlook the stuff in stores since I don't really go in them. But, finally, Christmas has managed to burrow into my brain. My place of employment has a musac system. Guess what it's been playing today? Ugh.

Also, McDonald's had nonstop Christmas music going today when I was there for lunch. That wasn't the worst part, though. The worst part is that the McRib doesn't taste nearly as good as I remember. Either I was kidding myself or they're buying a lower grade of ass to make them. In any event, I doubt I'm laying down some Washingtons for one of those again.

We three kings of orient are puffing on a rubber cigar

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Odds and Ends

First off, if you're looking for a surefire way to get your house coated in eggs and toilet paper, by all means give out those nasty peanut butter kisses (taffy) for Halloween. Seriously. There's nothing like a good egg wash...on your siding. I'm happy to say that neither of my children received any of those horrid little nuggets of disaster. If they had, I just might have egged a house or two myself. But I like eggs and would prefer to eat them instead.

Next up, this_event looks pretty damn cool. the streets?? Almost makes me wish I lived in Seattle...for one day out of the entire year.

In case you're Rip Van Winkle or have been living under a rock for a while (which I can imagine is not very comfortable), today is election day. Now I'm not going to spew the "it doesn't matter who you vote for, just get out and vote" nonsense that you hear at this time of year. That's bullshit. Truth is, it does matter who you vote for, so don't feel a sense of accomplishment by voting for random people. If you're going to do that, seriously, stay home.

If you do vote, however, there is a plethora of free stuff you can get. Starbucks is giving away free coffee. Krispy Kreme is giving away a free, sprinkle-covered donut. Ben & Jerry's is giving away free fat on a cone. And there's even an adult store that's giving away free sex toys! Of course, that would be the store I neglected to remember...

We're not unreasonable; I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes