Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's definitely time

The leaves are falling, the air is getting crisp, the children can't sit's time for their dentist appointments! Oh, no,'s almost time for Halloween.

First of all, I'd really like to give thanks to AMC who sees fit every year to play horror movies for two weeks. Seriously, the rest of the TV stations need to step up, grow a pair, and play me some damned horror movies! And, Syfy, "Giant Banana Slug vs. Giant Dung Beetle" does not count as a horror movie. Hell, it barely counts as a movie! Oh, and get that horrid "Ghost Hunters" and "Destination Truth" bullshit off the air. Seriously? That's horrible, not horror. Unless the banana sluck wears a mask and wields a knife...then it's just hilarious.

No, I'm talking about the originals--"A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Friday the 13th" and, possibly my all-time favorite, "Halloween". Though I haven't actually seen "A Nightmare on Elm Street" on TV in a long time.

So, yeah, AMC. Not only have they been playing nonstop horror movies, but they've been including commentary from directors and actors called "Killer Conversations". My favorite segment was banter between Kane Hodder (the guy who played Jason Voorhees) and Tony Moran (the guy who played Michael Meyers). They were like little kids, giddy about the movies and comparing their "favorite kills". Also, they have these two guys recreating classic horror movies in their garage. Hilarious.

Good times.

Also, we made our annual pilgrimage to the pumpkin patch. Much fun was had by all. What cracked me up is the amount of attention the girls gave to a black cat roaming the grounds. Like we don't have two of those already! Though, to be fair, ours are losers. And everyone loves a winner! Below I've included pics that I shamelessly yoinked from K's blog post.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Game Over

My Extra Life game marathon came to an end around 7:30 Saturday night and, I think, was a complete success. Sure, nobody was "checking up" on me to see if I actually played for 24 hours straight. I mean, sometimes I did feel like I was being watched, but that might have just been fatigue...or not. Anyway, I only needed a really small excuse to game for 24 hours, so it worked out well.

I played through Halo: Reach, Halo: Combat Evolved, Halo 2, Halo: ODST, and most of the "Sierra 117" level of Halo 3. I could've gotten a little bit further if I hadn't stopped every so often to experiment in the games. These were my "I wonder what happens if I do this" moments. And, more often than not, they resulted in "Oh, I die" moments. At 10:00 in the morning after you've been gaming since 7:00 pm the previous night, moments like this can inspire quite a bit of slap-happy laughter.

I drank a lot of caffeine and didn't really start wilting until around 4 pm (with only about three hours to go). The nighttime and early morning hours flew by, with the rest of the time sort of dragging. I often found myself thinking I was almost done with one of the games, only to realize "Oh, I still have that level to play through."

I also took about an hour off of the Halo games to play Starcraft 2 with some friends online. We promptly sucked ass, then one of their connections dropped, so I returned to my Halofest.

There were also a couple of times where I felt I really should get out and get some exercise but, given the sleep deprivation, I decided I really wouldn't get very far anyway. I also wondered if I might get sore thumbs from the Xbox controller. There were many times, back in the NES and Super NES days, when I would get "Nintendo Thumb" (related to 'Mouse Claw" from playing too much Diablo) but my thumbs were sturdy and held fast. I also wondered if My Xbox would put up with being on for 24 hours, but it performed admirably. Not only does it play games, but it doubles as a fancy space heater!

In the end, money was raised and games were around 3400 gamers. I had an awesome time, and will probably do it again next year if I can get a team case I need another excuse to stay up all night playing videogames. Perhaps Minecraft for 24 hours straight?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Maximum Halo in 24 hours

Tonight at 7:00 I embark upon a noble cause--playing videogames for 24 hours. No, wait...the noble cause is the "Extra Life" charity to benefit the Children's Miracle Network. I got my pledges. Now it's time for me to man up my ass in a chair for 24 hours and play video games. Seriously? I'd do that or no. That's assuming I can stay awake for it all, considering I will actually be up for close to 36 hours, not just 24.

Anyway, tonight is the night--7:00 pm Friday night to 7:00 pm Saturday night. And my plan is to play through as many Halo games as I can manage. I figure that I can get through most of them assuming my brain doesn't ooze out my eye sockets or my cat doesn't kill me due to lack of attention.

In actuality, I've always wanted to know if I could pull a 24-hour game marathon and I guess I will find out soon. I'll be sure to be fully stocked with snacks and drinks, and maybe a cattle prod to jolt me awake if I start to fall asleep.

Let the games begin!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Why do I do this?

A friend recently told K "when I was in the army, we were told that 80% of civilians can't run a mile." I find this to be a positive thing. Why? Well, those 80% will become the living dead when the zombie apocalypse happens, and I'll be totally safe! That also translates into slow, out-of-shape zombies, so they'll be easy to pick off!

This weekend was the Roots N' Blues N' Barbeque Half-Marathon. I ran it. I have run it (or its predecessor) for a few years now. The results are as follows:

So it went well--not as well as last year, but well. I did stop and walk a few times. The hills during the second half of the run are really brutal. Whoever came up with this course should be killed a minimum of three times. The have no business planning half-marathons. In fact, I'm willing to bet that whoever planned this course will be one of the zombies during the apocalypse.

So there are a few things I can take away from this year's run:
  • The perfect breakfast after a half-marathon is barbeque. Totally.
  • Rockstar Lemonade tastes like three different kinds of ass. It was free and it's normally about $4 a can. So, sure, it's liquid gold...that tastesl ike three different varieties of ass.
  • Even though I didn't do as well as last year, I am still very pleased with my performance.
  • If you're going to have a pace runner...make sure said pace runner is actually running the pace he's marked to run. Seriously. If you're a 1 hr 45 min. pace runner, don't make me think I'm doing really awesome when I pass you. Move your lousy ass!
  • K did better than last year, and she totally rocks.
  • There is nothing like a pumpkin latte after a half-marathon.

Also, yesterday, G and I went looking for Halloween decorations and horror movies. Both searches were met with such disappointing lameness that I am thoroughly saddened. The decorations this year a really sad. There is nothing realy inspired or awesome and even some of the usual staples aren't around. And as far as finding good, classic horror movies goes it was even worse. Try to find the original "Halloween" or "Halloween 2" and you will be disappointed. I mean, seriously? I did find "Baseketball" on DVD for $5, so the search wasn't all bad.

And then there's...

Syfy Saturday Presents: Graves

It really says something about a movie when you can't find it on IMDB. This particular gem stars nobody you've heard of except maybe Tony Todd (yes, The Candyman). There are very few main characters, actually, and most everyone gets killed off in the first 30 minutes.

But I digress.

So two sisters are roadtripping to...well, I have no idea where. But they stop in a little town called "Unity" where they meet all sorts of freakshows, including the town preacher (Tony Todd). They are directed to a popular local tourist trap--an old mine. This is when the shit hits the fan, people start dying, and the "I don't get what's going on here" starts flowing like beer from a keg.

This blacksmith dude is running around the mine, killing people but telling them that he doesn't enjoy it. Then his brother comes along and starts killing people, only he says that enjoys it. There's a psycho lady called "Mama" running around as well. Though, really, the only thing truly psycho about her is her red teeth. Don't get me wrong...that's pretty nasty to begin with.

As it turns out...and this is a shocker...the entire town is in on it! Didn't see that coming? What? Were you flipping channels again? So, yeah. The entire town must harvest souls for a local demon who hangs out there. And the demon has this really nasty armpit odor that causes people to go all psycho and attack anything that moves. So, yeah.

Oh, and the movie is called "Graves" because the two sisters share the last name of "Graves". Yep, that's it.

Here are your Drive-In Totals:

  • Stupid tourists: 4
  • Stupid sisters: 2
  • Demons who need to shower: 1
  • Harvested souls: the entire damn town of Unity
  • Knitting needle-fu
  • Stick-fu
  • Scythe-fu
  • Blood-spewing
  • Gun-in-the-face

3 stars