Sunday, November 14, 2010

Random Bits

Honestly, I don't have a whole lot to talk about at the moment. It's mostly a bunch of random bits...a hotdog of words, if you will.

  • Halloween was awesome. I miss the nonstop horror movies now that it's over.
  • The NFL football season is crazy this year. Possibly the best reality show ever.
  • Found a neat little iPhone/iPod/iPad app called "Zumocast". Lets you, on your phone, play any song from any of your PCs anywhere as long as everything is connected to the Internet.
  • Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! Wait...it's been coming since, like, July. No surprise there.
  • I am extremely glad elections are over. Now we can watch all the pinheads who got elected fail miserably and go back on all their promises.
  • Now is the time of year when I long for a wood fireplace...again.

Really, that was all just an excuse to get to...

Syfy Pictures Presents: "The Lost Future"

This little piece of genius stars Sean Bean (whom I did not recognize at all until just now). All I can think about is how he was on set, probably yelling "I was BOROMIR, dammit!" But why shouldn't he do Syfy movies? John Rhys-Davies went the same route--from LoTR to Syfy. Yeah, we see how that turned out.

So I missed the first 10 minutes of the movie, but I don't think it mattered. Apparently, civilization is in ruins. I'm guessing someone accidentally pushed "the button" or let the bees out or just listened to a lot of 80's music and, bam! Mutants! I know, you're saying "No!!! Not mutants!!" Yes...mutants. You knew they were coming. Why mutants? Because zombies are everywhere. So I guess Syfy felt they had to switch it up.

So a village gets wiped out by mutants and its survivors are cowering in a cave. They're infected and are going to also turn into mutants. Three people escape--handsome dude #1, handsome dude #2, and cute chick in hot pants. Of course, they're also infected. And thus begins their quest to not turn into mutants! They skip through verdant fields, holding hands and singing songs while meeting people along the way and being chased by mutants. Actually, they simply do a lot of running, screaming, and probably some peeing.

But wait! OMG! There is a yellow powder that, when inhaled, cures the affliction and makes you immune! Hope for humanity! Basically, mutants = cocaine addicts going through withdrawal! That mindset makes the movie more entertaining. So, basically, this movie should be called "The Lost Stash".

Here are your Drive-in Totals:

  • Teenagers on a quest for...um...powder: 3
  • Horrible, awful mutants: the whole world
  • Asshole rulker who hordes the...um...powder: 1
  • Dudes who can read: 1
  • Arrows Sean Bean gets hit with...again: 1
  • Rock-fu
  • Arrow-fu
  • Mutant-fu
  • Beheading
  • Powder-snorting

2 1/2 stars