Friday, June 24, 2011

I can taste the colors!

Well, my biggest news is that I finally got my Eyefinity setup working on my PC. So now I can fully utilize three monitors both for Windows in general and, more importantly, for gaming. :) I've gamed a bit with the three monitors and it is rather disorienting but I'm getting used to it quickly. It's really handy to have an expanded field of view in a 180-degree arc. I can just hear the nOObs screaming "OMG! Hax!!" If I could just get Crossfire working properly, then I would be all set.

Eyefinity certainly gives you a different perspective on many games. Now that I can essentially see in front and to the sides of me it changes the dynamic and how I play. It makes Portal 2 a lot more interesting...and the game kicked ass to begin with. Even Minecraft looks and plays really well. Nothing like seeing a creeper out of the corner of your eye and freaking out, screaming like a little girl, and getting blown up anyway.

So now I really really wish Mechwarrior 5 would be released. Because then I'd have a gigantic nerdgasm. Seriously, they really need to push that game out.

All three monitors are running off one single XFX Radeon HD5870 and all games are running at max resolution with every available option turned up to its highest. All games I've played thus far run 100% smoothly.
Now if I could just get my *blam* Crossfire configuration to work without the BSoD, I could run Eyefinity with Crossfire.

Portal 2 without Eyefinity:
Portal 2 with Eyefinity (lines inserted by me to show where the center monitor would end--click for a better image):

We're not just bangin' rocks together here.

Alright. This last week's Syfy movie was Moby Dick...which I watched...part of, anyway. It starred Barry Bostwick, Renee O'Connor, and a CGI whale that seemed to vary in size as the movie progressed. I'd review it but, as I said, I watched part of it and then got bored and wandered into traffic for a while. It was not a great theatrical masterpiece. Instead, I choose the movie that was on before it.

Syfy Pictures Presents: Mega Python vs. Gateroid.

The reason this movie even came on my radar (aside from the usual "giant thing vs giant thing" premise) is because it stars both Deborah Gibson and Tiffany (rival 80's pop tarts). And, instead of the monsters being the primary creatures fighting, we get Mega Gibson vs. Tiffanoid!

Sure, there is plenty of snake- and gater-related munching, chomping, and general mayhem. However, Gibson and Tiffany spend 95% of the movie arguing and bitchfighting. And it's wildly entertaining. The movie itself is very tongue-in-cheek because, let's get real, if they'd tried to make it a serious movie, it would have sucked more than Megamaid from Spaceballs.

Thankfully, the writers were smart enough to know that they could capitalize on cheesy 80's memories and created one hilarious masterpiece of bad CGI, bad editing, and bad acting. And, yes, we do get choice quotes like "I think we're alone now" and "only in your dreams". Ha!

The plot is very basic--right out of every children's book you've ever read. Crazy lady (snakelover) releases pythons into the wild. Crazy lady #2 (gaterlover) notices the sudden influx of large snakes and doesn't like it. Gaterlover feeds steroid-laden chickens to the gaters (and these steroids are super, far-out science stuff) which then grow to epic proportions.

Well, guess what? Snakes eat they eat the gater eggs...and also grow to "oh shit, Tokyo is being destroyed!" sizes. And then the two fight it out...sort of. At some point, it seems they almost become friends--ignoring each other and going for the easy-to-kill soft, fleshy human meatbags instead. I mean, let's face it, we're much tastier than snake or gater, right? It's the logical choice.

So, as I said, the movie then focuses on Gibson and Tiffany sparring, pulling hair, slapping, tackling, screaming, rolling in mud, and throwing pies at each other. What a world!

Here are your Drive-In Totals:
Bitchfights: countless
Awesome parties: 1
Mysterious loners: 1

3 1/2 stars

(Also, blogger still sucks.)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A couple of RMRs

Okay so, first off, I just want to reiterate...I hate blogger. That being said, I do think it's snazzy that they have now implemented a mobile version. But, then, everyone has mobile versions, and Blogspot is probably just behind.

With that out of the way, let's move on to what I really wish to talk about...

Just saw "Super 8". (No spoilers ahead.)

So, this movie is a lot like "Cloverfield" only without the shakycam and with children and an actual resolution. First, I must start off by saying...I liked Cloverfield. I won't get into that.

I also liked Super 8, but it is quite considerably a different movie while being a lot the same as Cloverfield. For the longest time, you either catch only brief glimpses of the creature-thing or you don't see it at all. Rest assured, like Cloverfield, that you do indeed get to see the thing at some point. The absense of the supernatural leaves the movie to address what really matters--plot, tension and, most of all, characters.

And the characters in this movie are not abnormal--you've got the pyro, the chubby kid, the nerd who falls in love and, finally, the "that kid"...yes, that kid--the one who is always losing his glasses or throwing up or really nerding it up. And while the children are somewhat stereotypical, they are all vivid and feel real in a "Stand By Me" kind of way. And while this movie is an "unravel the mystery" kind of movie it is also very much a buddy movie.

There is action, there are poignant moments, and there are laughs. I don't really believe this is the best movie I've ever seen but I didn't walk out of it wondering why I spent money on it.

And now, onto what you really want to read...

Syfy Pictures Presents: Ice Road Terror.

Heh...obviously influenced by the popularity of the Ice Road Truckers cabler, this movie something. I'm still not sure what that something is. It's not a great movie. But it's also not worthy of being buried in the desert with all those copies of the Atari 2600 game E.T. Maybe buried next to them...

So it stars all scabs who were probably grateful just to get cast in this movie, because none of them is a master thespian. I doubt they could even find a spot in Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark (which still holds steady in my "Top 5 Worst Titles Ever" category).

So these two truckers are in a friendly, unofficial competition to get the most completed trips and, of course, they're tied. They both volunteer for a dangerous haul of explosives along the (currently melting) ice road. One trucker: a seedy but dashing scoundrel. The other trucker: a handsome nice guy. For reasons I still can't figure out (because I wasn't paying close attention to the intricacies of this masterpiece) a chick wanted to tag along. She fulfills the role of "cute female scientist chick" only she's not as hot as the women they normally cast.

Of course, things go wrong at the dig site and some creature escapes. As usual, lots of running, screaming, and eating of people ensues. Later, there's an awesome speech by a coward how he'd totally sell everyone up the river if he got the chance. His speech is cut short by the monster-thingy. Both trucks crash and they have to hoof it in the snow while the monster takes a coffee break.

The CGI is bad...terribad. and the monster itself isn't the only CGI. At some points, the trucks were CGI...also terrible. I think the acting was CGI as well. All this might lead you to believe that Syfy had an awesome budget. False. Bad CGI is probably cheap. And this was abundant. I personally think they had a monkey creating the images on an Apple IIe.

Now, the fact that they were hauling explosives would lead you to believe that they would kill the monster by blowing it up, right? Yeah, that was my prediction. For once, I was wrong. Ah well. I got most of the movie right.

Here are your Drive-In Totals:
Cowards pulled under the ice: 1
Scrappy couples destroyed: 1
Construction crews demolished: 1

2 1/2 stars

Saturday, June 4, 2011

You've got some random on your cheek

Wow, I am lazy!! I really need to keep up on things. I've lapsed in my attempt to provide random, worthless drivel to the Internet. And there's just not enough of that out there these days, now is there?

I've not provided any Syfy reviews for a couple of weeks because, well, they haven't shown anything that is worthy of a review. Lately, it seems, all they've been showing is Star Trek and Underworld movies. They must have shelled out quite a bit of money for those and are trying to get their money's worth. Why not add "Independence Day" and maybe "Armageddon" while they're at it?

Actually, I'd watch those two. I have nothing against Star Trek but the movies just aren't that great (except the reboot). And I've never been a fan of the Underworld trilogy, save that Kate Beckensale is nice to look at. Though I don't think "badass" when I think of her. Not that it matters much.

So the temperature is up and the cicadas are out in full force. Literally, we seem to have skipped Spring entirely. It's 95 degrees with high humidity. Since Summer came early, does this mean I can ask for Autumn to arrive early? Pretty please? Seriously, nature, get it figured out or I'ma have some words with you.

The I've heard them during their heyday and they're definitely loud. I don't think they're louder this year than they were during the "Great Cicada Coalescence" of 1998 (I think that was the year). No, not louder...but I think they're more plentiful. I don't remember seeing them flying around all the time but, this year, they are flying everywhere. They keep going kamikaze on my car. This ends very poorly for them, of course. Nothing I love more than having cicada goo on my windshield. But, yeah, they're flying around everywhere like drunken American Airlines pilots--ramming into each other, crashing into trees, cars, and the ground. Do they have air traffic controllers and, if so, are they asleep?

I went a whole seven days without caffeine of any kind. I've learned a couple of things from this...
  1. I can exercise much easier with caffeine. This is no surprise.
  2. Caffeine withdrawal is a cruel bitch who will kick you in the head every chance she gets.
  3. I feel really good without caffeine, but still enjoy it (as I am drinking a soda right now).
  4. I have been using it as a crutch, convincing myself that I'm going to need it to get through "x" activity. Sometimes this is true. Much of the time, I'm just jonesing for it.

So, yeah. I plan to keep my caffeine intake much lower than it has been.

Also, I don't know if I say this enough, Blogger is a gigantic piece of crap.

That is all.