Tuesday, December 17, 2013

See the Grazing Mule Before Us

Fa la la la la, la la la LA!

Christmas music. Some people hate it, some people love it. But have you ever stopped to listen to the lyrics and actually know the true meaning of each song? No? Well, you're in luck. I am such a good Samaritan...and I will help you understand some of your favorite Christmas songs.


"Silent Night": This is the song where the parents wish their children would hush up and go to sleep so that Santa can visit.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer": Geeks start out as outcasts and grow up to be awesome. Also, they have red noses, but nobody knows why.

"Feliz Navidad": Merry Christmas...over and over and over and over and over again. And then some more.

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town": Santa Claus had to pick up some milk at the grocery store.

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus": [redacted].

"Santa Baby": Give me lots of stuff and I'll [redacted].

"It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas": "It's only August and already stores are selling Christmas ornaments. Ugh."

"White Christmas": "I hope it snows really hard so that we don't have to drive all over the place on Christmas."

"Blue Christmas": That snow...doesn't look right at all.

"Do You Hear What I Hear?": Voices...voices everywhere. This lamb is telling me that the wind told it something.

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas": I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Absolutely NO rhinoceruses.

"All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth": Most people think this song is about a little kid who lost his teeth. It's actually about a 100-year-old man who misplaced his dentures.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas": Merry Christmas!!!

You're welcome.